Monday, 31 December 2012

dead & gone


we are running out of pages
we are rewriting memories,
ink on ink,
word on word
carve them into our hearts 
remember them--
learn from them

polish our rusted lungs
if acid is what it takes,
use it
scrub the stains off
before they infect like disease
& all we can do
is paint them a fresh coat of paint, 
over--but never into the heart

giving thanks: 



four more minutes

Thursday, 27 December 2012

darkness & light


thank you tenth avenue north, for bringing me to the lord, 
& never failing to bring me back to the lord,
even when i get tired of having a savior--
when the act of salvation itself gets thwarted into a loathsome anchor by ungodly thoughts
weighing my being to the seabed-- where i'd rather rot in deliberate blindness 
where i'd rather darkness swallowed me whole so those corrupted lungs could morph into jellyfishes 
to enjoy frolicking in the stench of the decomposing seabed

for darkness is capable of casting spells instead of crowns 
--when bewitched, 
 you'll willingly let it drag you

then

d
   r 
     o
        w
            n  

                   you 


we're all the same, all desperate for a change
we're all the same, we need You lord

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

p&p

met the bunny for hotcakes in the morning,
while the afternoon was spent
solitarily
sipping 'pearl of the orient' & reading p&p

('& indeed spending the bulk of our holidays together has caused our ways to parallel each other' this i so agree)

falling asleep (cannot help the sloth in me),
more p&p
then gym farewell cards

hopefully work tomorrow will be under tom, catching up with belle & christian with the bunny,
or if that is too idealistic,
i hope work will be wiping plates & goblets while
memorising favourite p&p quotes,
singing 'o holy night' & jay chou oldies with the bunny

either way, I will be satisfied

here are some of my favourite p&p quotes to date:

"I have every reason in the world to think ill of you. No motive can excuse the unjust & ungenerous part you acted there. You dare not, you cannot deny that you have been the principal, if not the only means of dividing them from each other" (elizabeth bennet)


"these offences might have been overlooked, had not your pride been hurt by my honest confession of the scruples that had long prevented my forming any serious design. These bitter accusations might have been suppressed, had I with greater policy concealed my struggles, and flattered you into the belief of my being impelled by unqualified, unalloyed inclination, by reason, by reflection, by every thing. But disguise of every sort is my abhorrence. Nor am I ashamed of the feelings I related. They were natural & just"

"could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your connections? To congratulate myself on the hope of relations, whose condition in life is so decidedly beneath my own?"

"his misfortunes! Yes, his misfortunes have been great indeed."

"and this, is your opinion of me! This is the estimation in which you hold me! I thank you for explaining it so fully. My faults, according to this calculation, are heavy indeed!"

"be not alarmed, Madam, on receiving this letter, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments, or renewal of those offers, which were last night so disgusting to you. I write without any intention of paining you, or humbling myself, by dwelling on those wishes, which for the happiness of both, cannot be too soon forgotten"

"you must therefore, pardon the freedom with which I demand your attention, your feelings, I know, will bestow it unwillingly, but I demand it of your justice" (fitzwilliam darcy)

"I shall endeavour to find some opportunity of putting this letter in your hands in the course of the morning. I will only add, God bless you

'FITZWILLIAM DARCY.' "


"but the misfortune of speaking with bitterness, is a most natural consequence of the prejudices which I had been encouraging" (elizabeth bennet)

"far it be from me, my dear sister, to depreciate such pleasures. They would doubtless be congenial with the generality of female minds. But I confess they have no charms for me. I should infinitely prefer a book" (mary bennet) 

and the bunnies' (joy & i) ultimate favourite which we would like to gift 
the mediocre mangers of a -certain- hotel

"from the very beginning, from the first moment I may almost say, of my acquaintance with you, your manners impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the ground-work of disapprobation, on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike" (elizabeth bennet)