snow white

suddenly dawned on me why i have always disliked snow white so much - she is the diametrically opposing archetype of girl goal mulan, the ultimate projection of weakness and idiocy i.e. she pines for a prince from the opening of the classic, puts her entire faith in a bunch of dwarfs she has never met before, is absolutely dependent on (& hence vulnerable to) the kindness of people around her, never attempts to carve out anything on her own accord & is ultimately poisoned by a shiny apple bc she never learns how to say no / has completely no sense of discernment wrt people -

some days i feel like mulan but the reason why i hate snow white with such a vengeance is bc i've realised on days like these, i feel just like snow white - wrapped under my covers in inertia, tired from trying to be mulan all the time.

edit 23:03: had rly good chai, found my nail color that just screams !! denise !!, just stumbled upon some rly feel good indie music & my room smells like a honeysuckle bouquet thanks to my illuminated candle - i am ready to be mulan again (after all, mulan saved china before she found shang)

Your praise will ever be on my lips

truly, what would i do without the knowledge that You are sovereign above all, and will never withhold Your blessings from Your beloved children.

what would i do if i didn't have You, in times of utter despondency or when faced with the crumbling walls of a faux & self-perpetuated optimism. 

what would i do without praise as my sole anthem & weapon, in times of wretchedness? 

i cannot fathom. 

self pep-talk

i will find beauty & inspiration in everything around me. i will proclaim the goodness of god over my life every day. i will tell the good stories. i will stave off any forms of negativity that seeps & plagues & aches in crevices inside the psyche but never value-adds & instead destroys & cremates. i will live with conviction that i am meant for great things. i will smile with my eyes & laugh with my heart. i will stand firm & learn how to say no, even if it means something inside me wavers & dies a little inside. i will be first independent, before anything or anyone else. i will be bold in chasing the things i believe i deserve. above all, i will put myself on the trajectory for continuous improvement - to never stop working on myself; to never stop learning; to never stop feeling good about personal progress, & to continue doing things which make me brim with happiness.