after a long hiatus due to work, i've discovered (to my pleasant surprise) that the words in me have yet to die -
starting this new series on songs that remind me of a particular moment in time, as they come to mind:
where are you - jung joon young, w ost
[2017]
it was our second date at beauty world: i dreamt of your hand brushing against mine - would you reach out for it and clasp it boldly if i left it dangling next to yours? we had korean food for dinner where my bibimbap came without meat (a scam) and you donated me some bulgogi as you cheerily recounted the story of a patient defecating in the corridors of the hospital a few metres away from where you were standing (a reference to a few nights ago during your call when you sent me the image, which i thought was going to be something like a grotesque, dismembered limb, but it turned out to be poop - i remember getting ready for bed but sitting upright instantaneously as we whatsapped back and forth with neither of us going offline for a long, long time, and i felt the faintest inkling of a new relationship brewing; yet a part of me was so afraid to fall & have my feelings toyed with again). our second date made me feel like the protagonist of a korean drama - i could almost imagine this soundtrack playing in the background as we shared a bowl of matcha bingsu in a glasshouse as an imaginary camera rolled on. while parting ways i gave you a hug, which surprised you - who was this liberal girl hugging a new stranger-turned-friend on their second date? as i waited for my bus back to campus, this was the tune that made me feel like i was already tipping over into a new world - our W.
when i feel i'm into you - kim jun seok, w ost
[2017]
i sent you a goodnight text at 2230 as you turned in early in anticipation of a 4am morning, and you marvelled at how i was going to head out to the gym so late into the night. my favourite part of the campus is the view of the lit saga towers in the backdrop juxtaposed against the black canvas of the night - with this tune engulfing my little world carved out by my headphones i would traverse across the elm courtyard and pause - admiring the stillness of the night & thinking of a new, budding "us", feeling my heart rise & rise & rise until it became one with the clouds.
i will go to you like the first snow - ailee, guardian ost
[2017]
glimpses of yonsei, of navigating the hilly parts of seoul from my ahjumma's apartment to the humble bus 3 bus stop that was just a pole, of gongcha study dates with lilith & that "friday tradition" cheese 찜닭 place we frequented that played this on repeat from the radio's billboard charts; of that dull ache of loneliness as (daily) i solitarily trekked the long walk from yonsei's main gate to the far end of underwood international college - to my east asian international relations class which was taught by a professor i really disliked despite the eventual A+. it reminds me of a sense of wistful loss & homesickness that i associated with everything good that i had momentarily left behind, for a land i had idealised so much in my head and had fallen short in every aspect. it reminds me of the intangibility of missing you, and counting down the days till i would find myself in your arms again.
spirited away - one summer's day, joe hisaishi
[2015]
to me, this is synonymous with the camaraderie of the saga courtyard in freshman year, and will always be. as i sat at my desk (which was facing the window looking into the opposite block) trying to concentrate on churning out my first scientific inquiry report, i couldn't help but notice a huge blank canvas being draped over the second floor of tower b - it was austin working his magic for our college's community spirit once again, and he brought along the popcorn machine as well. with the entire spirited away soundtrack blaring through the campus on a friday night, i remember ditching my report for apple juice from koufu with mars, then settling down in the grass patch with her to watch spirited away. there was so much contentment in my soul in that moment, sprinkled by the disbelief that i finally made it into my dream college and was privy to this amazing assemble under a starry night sky.
your hands are cold - dario marianelli, pride & prejudice ost
[2012]
this reminds me of my first taste of adulthood wiping plates at pan pacific with joy; a wide-eyed sixteen year old hit with the realisation that money was so difficult to earn & that we had a route out with education but some of the existing staff there didn't; pride & prejudice was our escape from the harsh working hours and incompetent managerial team; as we wiped we memorised verses elizabeth bennett would retort mr. darcy with & dreamt of mr. darcy striding towards lizzy against the backdrop of a stunning sunset - where and when was my very own mr. darcy going to sweep me off my feet? & how would my first kiss taste like? "from the very beginning, from the first moment I may almost say, of my acquaintance with you, your manners impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the ground-work of disapprobation, on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike" (elizabeth bennet) this was our favourite verse that gave lizzy so much character, and she was the pinnacle of the woman i aspired to be.
