impasse

the bricks are tantamount to the fleetingness of time.

not too long ago, the building had merely been soil;

but it is now of corporeal structure.

yet i - the epitome of an impasse 

am still like a ship

entrenched in shallow waters.

leap // lightness

why?

perhaps the most preeminent & austere reason why is that i don't want to be scared anymore

i want to be david in the presence of goliath- no, more than that, i want to befriend the giant that has hitherto been plaguing my self-esteem like weeds in its parasitic nature

i want to rediscover the joy in living (via enjoying what i am doing given the current parameters of my life), & the only way to do that before time becomes a hostile nemesis is to sacrifice smaller ideals with faith that it will translate into the fulfillment of bigger ideals in the long run

!!i.have.decided.&.there.will.be.no.turning.back!!

(this really reminds me of z's hxh draft about "gravity" [that is still in the end-process of editorial work]: a fusion of her words & mine have been haunting me ever since this issue had impudently elbowed its way into all of my thoughts this morning  i.e. gravity as a "shackle", "leap of faith", "gravity has no hold over god" - am i abnormal if this makes me strangely pleased??)