re-pivoting to the "why"

the realisation that work without an overarching perspective (and ~mood~) framing the context of why that work still matters to you on an individual level is mindless work that makes the process of toiling seem harder than the work per se.

when i was a sophomore in college i clearly remember chafing at having to do essays and readings bc i found the entire process pointless on an individual level - so much thought and effort culminating into a pile of essays that would land into the drive folder of one professor, subjected to the solitary judgement of an audience of one, who probably would only remember the brilliant pieces of writing that were not going to be mine. what made me feel alive was doing (what i thought at that point constituted) real work that dealt with the real world - crafting cold emails to people i had never met asking for sponsorship, filtering through the participant (or we called them "delegates") list to ensure all the right information were in place for the printing of delegate name tags meant for an upcoming model united nations conference (that students paid good money for to attend). in the context of college, i revelled in things of the "real world" because it gave me a sense of purpose that my toiling was going somewhere and value-adding to someone out there. 

ironically, it takes concerted effort to snap myself out of the monotony of the days folding into themselves after nearly a year of breathing in this "real world". virtual meetings after virtual meetings. google hangouts rage. piling to-do-lists. customer-facing decks to be drafted and presented. the inevitable administrative work that needs to be done to oil this machine. without conscious effort i find myself losing focus, losing purpose. 

and now, why do i work? 

i work to do the one thing that makes me feel alive - to create.

with my head, my heart and my hands. 

in hopes that that creation will be of value to my enterprise customers and colleagues. 

note to self:

put on some groovy music, enjoy the process of creating, irrespective of whether its office hours or not. irrespective of whether it feels wrong that you have to be working after working hours on some days to be responsible towards your stakeholders and personal work ethic; to be thankful that it is not the default expectation to do so. you need a serious mindset shift. 

as written in your v2mom vision: "to be always value-adding to my customers, lead SMs, account teams and the larger community by bringing to the table a can-do attitude, my point of view on solutions and product knowledge in pardot and marketing cloud."