you (abridged version)

with you,
in an alternate universe -
your hand in mine,
our heads in the clouds,
a million illuminated lanterns drifting,
floating upwards - a landscape
of innumerable constellations,
as multitudinous as the descendants
God promised to abraham -
fireworks going off in my head:
the sensation of falling headfirst is
so ineffable, i can only describe
it as backdrop.

i close my eyes
& see your face imprinted
in my mind -
(those staring episodes were
for memory work)
puppy eyes, droppy eyelids, with a
tiny mole next to the right;
a large nose with a straight bridge
diverging into two nostrils;
boat-shaped lips almost symmetrical;
(this was why my finger kept tracing
your lips - to commit them to memory)
cheeks that fit nicely
into two outstretched palms of my hands,
soft hair & a sharp chin that is your pride,
& bags your bragging rights.

you who remember my
favourite things & activities,
who are not afraid of telling me
you miss me,
who hug me even in your dreams.
you who plan & prepare
for our dates,
despite your punishing work schedule.
you who make me feel
as valued - or more so
than how i value myself,
who (love) me for me
& not for my body - to you
i am not just an object, to be touched &
paraded around - a trophy only to be
shined in public.
you who are as auntie
as i am, that we can always count
on each other -
not just for comfort in sadness,
but also tissues, & umbrellas.

you who make me feel
like i can be a modern day
kickass princess warrior
like mulan - everyday i
thank You, for you.
"and at last i see the light 
& it's like the sky is new,
& it's warm & real & bright
& the world has somehow shifted."

我们轻轻的唱，去任何地方

the weight of the world

is love.

under the burden

of solitude,

under the burden 

of dissatisfaction

the weight,

the weight we carry

is love. 

|---------------------------------------------------------|

who can deny?

in dreams

it touches

the body,

in thought 

constructs

a miracle,

in imagination

anguishes 

till born

in human -

looks out of the heart

burning with purity - 

- song, allen ginsberg

you weigh me down, only in all the good ways.
your shoulder is almost as sturdy as the Rock that holds us both.

to be both

i want to be both of everything good - to fall headfirst in love (with you) & yet not let my grades slide, to settle down young & yet fiercely carve out a career at the same time, to be a young mum & a kickass career woman in the future -

& why should they be mutually exclusive?
i want to have my cake & eat it, & with God i think i can.
i can, i can, i can.

你是我的关键词

这是第一次，让我见识爱情可以慷慨又自私，

有一种踏实，是你心中有我名字。 

finalmente

cuando pienso en ti, mi corazón está lleno,

porque Tú, sólo porque Tú

how do i aptly describe this joy
of finally walking right with You,
of knowing that i am able to feel
unmitigated, uncoloured joy - freed
from the irrational fear of false hopes,
insecurities stemming
from knowing whatever i put my hand to
will not be blessed if i do not
seek You first, in my pursuit;
precisely bc
i do not need to hide from man,
when i do not need to hide from You, God.

the steadfastness of my heart & soul,
anchored in the ineffaceable faith
that You will bless what we have
& how we love, both You and each other -
when we uplift each other with prayer,
when we come together to honour You,
to anchor ourselves in all that You are.

the sheer freedom of knowing
that in our hearts we plan our course,
but You establish our steps -
both as a collective & as individuals.
that if You will,
nothing will be able to stand against
nor prevail against
us.

i am learning the blessing
of having our separate, busy lives -
yet having my heart bursting with fullness,
even in the hours spent apart,
knowing for sure that
our covenant
consists of no games.

there is only one rule:
to uplift.

nosotros

sentirse bien, porque tú, jesús,
porque sé será bien con tú en el centro.

standing on the shoulders of kind giants

someone asked me once a long time ago if i had to characterise what friendship means to me in a word what will that word be?

i replied: to uplift.

a night away from week five of classes in this community & i have seen the graces of friendships come to play again & again. i am surrounded by wonderful, amazing people who really do care about me & who will uplift me, not only on good days but downtrodden ones; who inspire me to pick myself up & constantly challenge my boundaries - not just in terms of character but also in terms of personal growth, work ethic & professional goals.

tonight, i take my time to thank You for placing kind giants all around me.