"seems that I've been held in some dreaming state / a tourist in the waking world, never quite awake"
in another apathetic mood, but perhaps this is a godly kind of apathy
carving into my heart
echoes of the lord's tenacity for the Greater promise
the lord is my shepherd, I shall
not
want
nothing has changed since the tables were turned, yet it feels like it's either nothing changed at all, or everything has changed since then
I rather not delude myself
than live in a blissful bubble for a night, convincing myself nothing changed
only to prick the thin cloth of a facade
& fall into the trenches again
into the receiving arms of the cajoling devil
whispering "how can the lord love you when he takes away the things closest to home"
dragging
me
away
from the Reason which
i gained when I lost
all the things that are not of You,
lord I lift them up
this world has nothing for me
(time has barely done its job of negating pain, but more of jesus & less of me // Abba, I belong to You)
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