pride

it is so convenient to point fingers at the perpetrator who has fired up these dormant flames of indignation - as that sense of self-entitlement chafes against my insides & bears its fists, bringing violence for a little token of vengeance. for killing my pride, i am convinced my wrath is justified.

yet,

how much is this pride worth? why do i hold on so dearly to it, as if it defines & measures my self-worth? (whatever happened to "no one can make me feel irrelevant without my consent"??)  this very pride is the actual perpetrator of utter decimation i.e. any remaining shreds of humility, kindness, love (etc) left in that (already) crowded out heart.

// !! stop sleeping !! you are rendering yourself irrelevant, not them. all it took was a shove & you are down on the ground, wailing out in frustration & fighting back bouts of madness. the way to fight back is to fight what's inside - has God not pointed out to you this since the dawn of march? //

give honour where honour is due 

(perhaps, this is Your favour clothed in a disguise)