fusion

somehow knowing that i am back to the arts route is like balm to my irresolute heart: perhaps all this while i have been staving off the hunger towards this intrinsic predilection & hardening my mind to feast my eyes on alternative distractions - just so that the alternative path would not have hurt so much. i do not regret choosing pragmatism though - opening my eyes to the options available then and making an unwavered decision based on practicality, which was the next best route i could have taken.

even though waiting so earnestly with bated breath was agonising to the point of hot tears, it had sowed in me seeds of groundedness that i had always shunned away from (i think i am almost a different person in that aspect compared to rj days). i am just so thankful that god has given me this opportunity to reconcile both ideals and new-found practicality - this is indeed (in my opinion) the best confluence of both worlds.

nevertheless, it still feels like i am taking a plunge - but what a ride it will be, that i am certain of.