♡: my all-time favourite alternate universes

everytime we play "i have never" at group events, there is always one statement that i'll be able to count on to eliminate my opponents by one strike: "i have never enjoyed a single american sitcom". i've come to realise that the only form of streaming entertainment i truly enjoy is the korean drama genre, and for the longest time i did think there was perhaps something wrong with me. the characters in american and even european sitcoms always seemed unrelatable (bc they were more often than not caucasians), while the cultural gap shone through in the way their humour always felt cringe-worthy and contrived. i have never desired to emulate any of their mannerisms or ways of speaking despite the eloquence they have in speaking my first language, and while they often lived in riches i had never desired to emulate their ways of living.

on the other hand, i always find myself unable to exert self-control whenever i'm sucked into the plot of a kdrama. i gave this some thought and finally have an understanding of why i'm naturally averse towards american entertainment and so inclined towards korean ones: kdramas play on my beauty ideals by romanticising life itself, in ways that feel so relatable but are distant in actuality. during the times that i'm devouring the drama i live vicariously through the main characters - putting on the lens of the beautiful female protagonist who will eventually enjoy the company and affection of an equally handsome male protagonist, while being equally mulan-esque in her career. in doing so, she demonstrates that she is already complete in herself and that her partner exists to complement (not complete) her, thus aligning with my personal beliefs of how healthy love should look like. their love for each other is so palpable that it hurts even through the screen, and as their perfectly crafted faces meet and the crevices of their lips fit each other perfectly i cannot help but dream. in the aftermath of the drama i submerge myself in that artificial universe that i know doesn't exist through the osts, pretending that i too exist as they have existed, channeling the persona of my favourite female protagonist until i feel that i too can be like she has been - in style, in love, in beauty and in the mundane day to day living. kdramas romanticise the small things in life to look so beautiful from the outside, making even a bus ride look ineffably poetic. it makes me feel like i could make my life look poetic from the outside too, even if it's just for a moment.

for reference, a list of korean dramas i've watched since post-junior college days:

the moon embracing the sun [2012]
the heirs [2013]
i can hear your voice [2013]
my love from another star [2013/2014]
good doctor [2013]
doctor stranger [2014]
healer [2014]
pinocchio [2014/2015]
she was pretty [2015]
doctors [2016]
w, two worlds [2016]
descendants of the sun [2016]
romantic doctor, teacher kim [2016]
weightlifting fairy kim bok joo [2016/2017]
goblin [2016-2017]
bride of the water god [2017]
fight for my way [2017]
my secret romance [2017]
strong woman do bong soon [2017]
while you were sleeping [2017]
what's wrong with secretary kim [2018]
memories of the alhambra [2018]
melting me softly [2019]
romance is a bonus book [2019]
her private life [2019]
crash landing on you [2019/2020]

in light of the above, i would like to share my top six, all-time favourite universes that i really enjoyed being a part of, alongside my favourite accompanying soundtrack. most of them are also coloured by the hues of my then-reality and therefore clothed with nostalgia i.e. disclaimer: they may not be evaluated based on objective terms. in no particular ranking bc i adored them all:

w: two worlds [2016]

this drama got me into lee jong suk. it was a masterpiece with fantasy, romance and thriller packed into one, with two worlds differentiated so subtly with the use of richer colour hues. i loved this drama so dearly, even though i don't even like thrillers! i have watched perhaps too many lee jong suk dramas, but this couple pairing still remains the best and my favourite. the ost is also one of my all-time favourites.

this drama also means so much to me on a anecdotal level. it represents the first drama bae and i share, even though we had watched it separately. he reminds me of lee jong suk with his iconic eye mole, and he told me once that i had reminded him of han hyo joo when i had my korean bangs (he even made a comparison picture when we were skyping during my semester abroad back when i had those bangs). w makes us feel like we too can have our own world, our own w:

[2017]
"it was our second date at beauty world: i dreamt of your hand brushing against mine - would you reach out for it and clasp it boldly if i left it dangling next to yours? we had korean food for dinner where my bibimbap came without meat (a scam) and you donated me some bulgogi as you cheerily recounted the story of a patient defecating in the corridors of the hospital a few metres away from where you were standing (a reference to a few nights ago during your call when you sent me the image, which i thought was going to be something like a grotesque, dismembered limb, but it turned out to be poop - i remember getting ready for bed but sitting upright instantaneously as we whatsapped back and forth with neither of us going offline for a long, long time, and i felt the faintest inkling of a new relationship brewing; yet a part of me was so afraid to fall & have my feelings toyed with again). our second date made me feel like the protagonist of a korean drama - i could almost imagine this soundtrack [i.e. where are you] playing in the background as we shared a bowl of matcha bingsu in a glasshouse as an imaginary camera rolled on. while parting ways i gave you a hug, which surprised you - who was this liberal girl hugging a new stranger-turned-friend on their second date? as i waited for my bus back to campus, this was the tune that made me feel like i was already tipping over into a new world - our W."
doctors [2016]

this drama holds a special place in my heart bc i watched this while i was alone in new york city in 2016, sharing a room in bushwick with five other female tourists, solo sojourners or whoever who kept coming in and out - mostly strangers. my only private space was the top deck of one of the three double-deckers in the room, and for a whole month i was lucky enough to have met ja-young from seoul who slept below me (who eventually became one of my most treasured companions during my semester abroad alone in seoul circa winter 2017). this drama represented a familiar respite i could come "home" to in a home away from home, while i snuggled in my carved corner of the two-storey airbnb apartment with my favourite blueberry chobani yoghurt. it also gave me the vocabulary i needed to banter with my nyc gym buddy su-hyun, and reminds me of how i'd say "super, 가자!" during grocery runs with him and ja-young. this drama also reminds me of how blissful i had felt - warmed up with a cup of milo, seated on the sofa in the living room of jack and howard's apartment in maryland watching doctors. they were taiwanese phd students living in the states that i had met in the common area of that new york apartment (i was doing some work in the living hall when they came over with two of their friends and made conversation with me. in that night we jammed out to jay chou and they invited me to explore new york with them that weekend before they left the city the day after). before they left they gave me an open invitation to bring me around if i ever visited washington dc, and when i joined vincent on his solo trip to dc, they sweetly allowed me to crash in their living room for a few days - even setting up an inflatable bed so i could be comfortable. this drama reminds me of the conversations i had with howard about taiwanese vs. china politics, and that night when jack sat down on the couch next to my bed before i was about to turn in to have a philosophical conversation about love, and what it means to us as individuals.

this drama also gave me the vocabulary to relate to bae's profession during our first date at star vista, where i excitedly volunteered "oh! i know - you're talking about intubation right?" and he was so surprised and amused. but beyond these personal anecdotes, i really loved the plot of this drama and the palpable chemistry between kim rae won and park shin hye. i personally didn't find the age gap weird bc i know feelings have a mind of their own and i could relate with the student-teacher crush based on personal experience. moreover, the fact of the matter was he waited until they were in a similar stage in life before taking their relationship to a romantic level. and of course, both of them were the best at what they did in their field, which made me feel they were all the more compatible with each other. hye jung was a multi-faceted character - she was demure yet kickass (literally with her fighting scenes), she was kind yet guarded, she was child-like yet highly mature and intelligent. not forgetting, her post-work aesthetics were on a goddess level - her elegance, her outfits, hairstyle and even that minimalistic heart-shaped necklace made me feel a burning desire to channel my inner hye jung in my daily life as i roamed the streets of manhattan.
what's wrong with secretary kim [2018]

disclaimer: i have a soft spot for handsome, charismatic and competent boss characters who seem outwardly aloof but inwardly possess the kindest hearts. another disclaimer: i also have a soft spot for competent female characters with an amazing work ethic, who are gorgeous and have an elegant dressing style. final disclaimer: my favourite plots usually involve both characters actually being best friends or having a special encounter that they remember from childhood. this drama ticked all three boxes. i always channel my inner kim mi soo in her bombshell office wear whenever i'm getting ready for work, just to make myself feel more mulan-esque. more often than not, i always have this drama's ost playing in my airpods just before i tap my access pass into the office - it puts me in a great mood before reality hits.
crash landing on you [2019/2020]

the plot for me was honestly not a favourite, but the two things that rocked me to the core were captain ri's character and the official sound tracks. captain ri is officially my most favourite fictional character ever, and the choice of casting hyun bin as captain ri was perfect. i had a conversation about this with jon on a hot but breezy saturday morning while waiting for milly to arrive for our brunch date, and he mentioned something interesting, something along the lines of "...your boyfriend inspires your ideal korean drama type and that's why you like his character so much, and not the other way around". it's interesting bc it sounds unconventional but to a huge extent it's the truth. before i met my boyfriend i had a very different type i liked (my colleagues still joke that "fucbois" gravitate towards me and vice versa in company social settings - perhaps bc they are fun to talk to in such settings, but difficult to connect with outside of one?) - and when bae came along, he became the first (and probably the reason why my love life finally worked out). after i met him, my ideal type shifted 180 degrees towards what i describe as the "studious, professionally competent but alittle dorky with the opposite gender despite being so genuine at heart" guy persona - someone who i can only describe in words such as 稳重, 踏实 and 好男人. someone who makes me feel grounded and safe. someone who feels like homecoming. captain ri reminds me of bae (!! my captain teo) and that's the reason why i adored his character so much. and not forgetting the ost. what can i say except that it was hauntingly good and so fitting of every scene. an absolute gem.
while you were sleeping [2017]

i watched this during my junior year exchange in seoul. part of the reason why i decided on doing my college semester abroad in south korea was because i had been fed full with ideals about living in korea, only to find myself disillusioned with the reality of the language barrier, acute loneliness, subpar classes and the unbearable cold. this drama holds a special place in my heart bc it reminds me of those nights where i felt less homesick because i had an alternate reality to escape to, one with an impeccable balance of fantasy, wit, humour and romance; one which held my favourite actor that reminded me of bae sitting back home almost 3000 miles away bc of his iconic eye mole; one which reminded me why i came here in the first place. this was also the drama that got me into suzy bae, and when a neighbourhood saloon screwed up my haircut by styling my hair into an uneven and sloping bob, i took comfort in the fact that my hair style now resembled hers in this drama and channeled my inner suzy to still feel beautiful, because she still looked beautiful.
she was pretty [2015]

what i really loved about this drama was how the female protagonist was the true underdog - her transformation reminded me of a similar scene in our times and it was so incredibly satisfying to watch everyone finally come to terms with her innate beauty. the second lead syndrome was so palpable and heart-wrenching, if not for the fact that i had been rooting for the male lead from the onset. i also have a soft spot for park seo jun embodying competent boss personas - the charisma he exudes as a deputy chief editor helming the entire corporation gave me butterflies even as a spectator. the build-up to the climax (i.e. the epiphany the male lead has when he finally realises the person he has loved since childhood has always been in front of him but he was too blind to see) was so wonderfully executed that the catharsis from that release made me ugly cry like an idiot in front of my laptop. the friendship between hye jin and ha-ri was also so humanly beautiful, playing out the intricacies of the struggle between sisterly love versus boy envy. the icing on the cake was the entire ost playlist that still makes me feel like life is and can always be good.