transitioning

here i am, hovering on the cusp of youth's transition to adulthood in its purest sense - forging a career in the industry of my dreams with a glistening rock resting on my ring finger, about to buy and embark on building a home with the only man i can say i (romantically) love - will i able to do them all, and do them well? 

how is it that i still feel like a child inside, carrying with me arbitrary flashbacks of sneaking out to eat cup noodles at the playground with my coolest clique of friends in primary school; freezing up at math questions i couldn't answer for the life of me in my navy blue pinafore; sauntering into the rj canteen only to make a beeline for haws' kitchen as a tight-knit clique of four. in the blink of an eye those days are past but the present me is still here - slightly confused that years have flown by but nonetheless i am still the same "me" deep down. i have travelled in metropolitan cities across the globe alone but inside i still feel scared to graduate into the next stage of life - unadulterated adulthood. one that houses responsibilities, cash-strapped expenditures, meaningful debt and the search for optimal work-life integration. but somehow it seems like everyone figures it out eventually, and so will i. 

it is easy to drift through life as if one were traversing through a cloud. these days the weeks seem to bleed into one another, and decision-making doesn't stop even after work ends. but i also realise that these days will form the bedrock of nostalgia in time to come - i will look back at this moment and only remember the good moments of piecing together a new life at the threshold of my mid-twenties. i am where i had wanted to be a year ago, and god-willing, i will be where i want to be now in another year. i need to get my headspace out of this fog and start enjoying the process through and through.