today started out with the promise of corpulent ennui
but ended kind if one negates the aftermath of guilt-tripping & pounding dilemma
started the day envisaging the end of seven speculated hours of torture- yet another personality test workshop, bemoaning the considerable myriad of personality test workshops from last year alone that were mandatory
the verdict was INSJ which was pretty accurate, especially the first syllable.
long saw myself as an introvert contrary to a former me who used to relish & recharge from a company of people, wonder if it was a gradual attraction to all things metaphoric & abstract that pulled me into an introverted scope...was it this lure that changed me, or did it enable me to find myself in the midst of that engagement?
it is as if the mind, conscious of the essence of introversion, drowns me further into my shell for no particular reason at all & on the contrary of constraining my being, it liberates my soul
maybe that is why introverts prefer solitude-- silence amplifies one's thoughts & allows one to look into the core of oneself, to examine oneself like an open book & still be granted freedom & privacy
is it only me or does reading make one feel...invincible?
the day ended kind because my batchmates who went with me for cdance sit-in session got accepted/invited on the spot, which to put it less modestly (excuse my acute honesty), was rather gratifying-- to be acknowledged to be relatively good at something that seeks one's interest (regardless of the extent of that interest) is a kind feeling
feel really inclined to accept the offer, but i really want to try for street dance first, which the teacher ic claimed is a 'waste'...somehow am rather convicted that i will choose cdance regardless but i want to live & leave with no regrets-- the teacher ic is an expert at attempting to "guilt-trip" people, i felt really bad when i mentioned that i had another probable prospect, it made me feel apologetic & ungrateful
consequential dilemmas are nasty things
but admittedly they are better than none
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