conformity

"it is precisely his (man's) fantastic dreams, his most banal stupidity, that he will wish to keep hold of, with the sole purpose of confirming to himself (as if it were so very necessary), that human beings are still human beings & not piano keys, which, though played upon with their own hands by the laws of nature themselves, are in danger of being played so much that outside the calendar it will be impossible to want anything."

                                                                                           -notes from underground (f.dostoevsky)  


completely free like a bird for the whole day of jip tomorrow, heart is surging with adrenaline when i envisage myself spending quality solitude in my new, & probably the most favourite part of the school-- the majestic (literally) library which mr purvis (the lit lecturer who resembled mr keating in my opinion) deemed an "asset". traced my fingers along the shelves of fictions today, the library is a treasure chest of classics which i would otherwise be too poor to afford all, in fact i am considering shelving dostoevsky for the moment to relish in some thomas hardy/charles dickens/jane austen etc

i have a good four/five hours to burn before we are all allowed to leave school
& no, i do not regret not signing up for any modules at all (all which were too science-orientated & too orthodoxed, thus failing to capture my interest), but before hiding behind shelves i have to spend time chasing teachers w the batchmates around the school tomorrow cuz the school is "cunning" & i do not wish to continue with gym, & i will not no matter how the school tries to pressurize all of us!!!