keeping up

the world spins on while i stand in the middle of the hullabaloo

adopting a passive role of watching, of detaching 

& admonishing my wearied soul for being so weak-willed in everything, for liking so many things but being competent at none 

thinking of the future scares me i cannot envisage myself fitting into anywhere

lord grant me courage to face my giants  

thursday was the worst day of the week, nothing colossal went wrong but i just felt like a violated & exposed hermit crab--all i wanted to do was to retrieve into my shell because interacting with people on a daily basis can be so tiring don't you think? 

found myself wishing i could mute every single person whose happiness took the grotesque form of noisy loudness, i really cannot fathom how some people think the way to attract somebody's attention is through making gorilla-like clamors or nonsensical statements that will elicit the phrase "trying too hard" (empty vessels indeed make the most noise)

everyone seems to enjoy mindless chatter and unproductive conversations but maybe it's because i'm anomalous (if i am it's something i will like to pride myself on)

on a bright note, today was pretty blessed

had a swift impromtu meet up session with joy & hannah because of othello tickets

cannot stress my inclination towards impromptu meet ups because spontaneous sessions are borne out of genuine relationships (which makes me miss rabbit hole impromtu dates so much)

(sorry for the incoherent post, my mind is whirling from fatigue)

long day ahead tomorrow, good night, sleep tight
& let god love you tonight xx

// trying to carpe diem my way through every weekday but it's getting really exhausting to keep up //