what is ugliness?

today i saw ugliness:

it wasn't blatant like a crude stub remaining of an amputated toe on display
it wasn't a melancholic kind of ugliness that was so vulnerable, it became beautiful

it was an ugliness bearing the semblance of (something like) conditional tokenism:
today i realised "nice-ness" (if there is even such a word) & "genuineness" are not interchangeable terms,
hardly anyone was crawling into anyone's skin,
people seemed to understand but all they did was to justify with that system of "conditional tokenism", attempting to think from a person's point of view not because it was just but because it could alleviate one's disintegrating state of morality, because they could say that they had indeed made a fair assessment of the situation and emerged victorious with their view

it was a carnival named "the vanity of words"
words were thrown around loosely like the discs meant to topple a pyramid of cans
what was the prize?

today i also learnt that defending has absolutely nothing to do with arbitrary preferences: it is borne out an instigated desire to stand in the camp for the weak, when the weak has been stripped of a mouthpiece and cannot speak, a response to the strong's negation of the weak


learning these things didn't make me agitated nor angry
it just made me sad because we are all like slaves to our inherent vices.
what's worse?
choosing to comment and to put myself  as an onlooker on a pedestal, as if i myself am a saint, makes me part of the ugliness too

but i will do so anyway
just to get this out of my system