beginning of an end

i don't know how to put this into words because even though words are beautiful, reticence can supersede in the absence of words

for once this really feels highly personal & i am not going to dwelve into the specifics because i don't think i've felt this way before in a long time: when everything is so apt and the heart feels so much conviction of the Savior's love, but at the same time, the soul feels so stoic and the magnitude of the revelation is not being translated into the orthodox intangible, ineffable wave of emotions 

to sum it up, i got prayed for by a leader i'd never seen before after answering the call (which even though i was afraid, i felt so compelled to answer), & he prayed over three aspects of my life that i'd been struggling with for the past few weeks 

& even though my soul still feels stagnated, i know that something has been stirred, and this is just the start to the end of struggling,

because "it is finished".