have this burning desire to walk around the campus at night & dive into a really deep conversation with someone (just anyone who will be able to connect on the same emotional level as mine) from this college specifically but i realised with a dull ache in my heart that there is truly no one whom i feel will get me at the crux of this inanity that is driving me insane bc i cannot put a finger to what i am feeling or why i should be feeling this way. i think i am at this point where my threshold for flippant relationships has been maxed out - what is the use of saying hi to everyone everywhere when at times like this i cannot even count on one hand people whom i'll be able to share such thoughts with?? also, i am feeling rather disappointed that presupposed anchors feel like they are merely flotsam at sea - which leaves me with such an acute loneliness bc beyond all that daylight chatter, who can i really count on?? maybe this is part & parcel of transition & settling down but the interim period i.e. here & now feels like crap & i merely have words & the xx for company.
i know this cloud will pass me by when day breaks but now i am still under its cover & i am soaked to the bone.
edit/ 3:05 a.m: so thankful for old friends beyond these immediate walls who uplift me with their company
me hehe *hugsss*
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