feel like i am regressing into that cycle (once again) of actively seeking an ideal & being crushed in consequence / pinning the incorporeal on a physical vessel like building a temple to house a particular idol which represents a particular ideal, just so that my unfulfilled affection will & can be concentrated or confined to a central place of "worship".
i am tired of actively seeking & trying to find fulfilment in human relationships when i know that they can never truly satisfy. i am tired of trying and wishing i could be lord over certain aspects of my life which i desire to see positive changes. god, i look up: bc truly, who can compare to You, who moves my heart the way You do?
Your love is an end in itself - i have wandered enough. lead me beside still waters.
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