zhuangzi was right - the world is far too vast & too complex to be weighed down by the concretisation of things that cannot be concretised by & into mere labels. i could never understand how his life philosophy could be a perpetual whirlwind of abstrusity when i first entered college but now i think i know better & gradually understand; as i find myself growing & exposing myself to the obscurities in the world in thought & action do i realise there is indeed no manichean world, only the shelteredness of a bubble-like environment intending to deceive you into thinking there exists one ruled by labels & structures, to trick you into conforming to the falsity of absolute morality & order.
jesus teaches us to condemn the sin & not the sinner: in the same vein, it is possible to feel for the action but not for the person. it is possible to not feel & feel all at once. it is the other half of the feeling that twenty is prime. it is also possible to deceive your heart into thinking it is a momentarily a fireplace - loneliness makes it all possible, but i will not damn loneliness to the depths of hell bc it teaches me things about myself that i have hitherto not known. i am just thankful for communication & a truck ton of honesty, with myself, & with the people around me.
i am a complex being - paradoxical, confused, a language person, a visual person, a touch person - amongst many others that i may not have found words for. but i am so human, & for that i am thankful.
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