duality of feelings

why do we feel the feelings that we feel?

feelings, a double-edged sword.

the duality of feelings - 

in some instances they breathe life,

in others they take away,

coming and going like the tide that ebbs and flows

in tandem with the gravitational pull of the moon. 

the duality of feelings - 

both a dependable compass and a faulty one:

the uncanniness of feelings having more self-awareness

than i am conscious of. 

they are my trusted advisor - 

interpreting and making sense 

of things happening to me from a third person's perspective,

even before my head can wrap itself around them

and find the appropriate words for.

my feelings are my clearest articulation 

of what constitutes a right choice 

and conversely a wrong one.

and yet, the irrationality of feelings

also means that subjectivity 

becomes weighted on a much heavier scale.

once feelings are involved,

all things bow into the realm of subjectivity - 

i become the center of the universe

and the singular point of reference. 

a flawed compass guiding me on a terrain
only i can see.